NPR booted Juan Williams when he publically announced what makes him nervous. Fox News giddily placed a 2 million dollar contract on the table with quicker speed than it takes to fill out an application for unemployment. Noting my own need for additional streams of income I am now boldly going to declare the nature of my own nervous twitch.
Clowns: Yeah, men that dress up like clowns and walk down the hallways of a church entertaining the children make me nervous. I know the clown industry depends on the kiddie birthday parties too, but I just get nervous around clowns. Never trust anyone with what looks like a post-mortem smile plastered on their face.
Public safety officers: Sure, I have not had a ticket since my college days. But some of them just look too deconditioned and portly to be able to chase the average street urchin. They make me nervous.
Piano teachers: I had a piano teacher for three years when in elementary school. She never let me go beyond her parlor and the piano bench. The house never smelled like cookies baking or casserole in the oven when I spent my thirty minutes there after school. I don't even know if her home at a bathroom. She scared me.
Carpet sharks: You know what I mean. Those crawling little babies with four teeth make me nervous. They are ankle-biters and can't be trusted.
And as for Juan Williams, I wish him well. Not many of us are rewarded for our brutal honesty; and certainly not to the tune of a two million dollar labor contract.